Every mama out there has only good intentions for their children. Ok, there are those parents out there that really shouldn’t be parents but that’s besides the point. This mama, and others like me do what they do for the sole purpose of raising good, healthy children. Right? Correct me if I’m wrong.
Not all parents choose to do everything the exact same way! I don’t know how many times I wish I could scream this at people. Especially after repeated unsolicited advice or direct questioning of my parenting choices. How frustrating! Especially as a FTM who’s trying her best to figure out what works best for HER and HER child.
Not all of my choices mesh with what you do and not all of yours will mesh with mine! What someone might have done 50, 30, 10 years, even last month might not be how I want to do things with my child. Even if your suggestion is unsolicited I thank you for wanting to help but please please please don’t beat a dead horse. Once is enough. If I am obviously sticking to what I’m doing and my son is thriving perfectly than what’s the point in repeatedly doubting my parenting skills/choices?
(Picture taken from American Baby Magazine, February 2013 issue, pg. 45)
- Yes, my 11 week old has an early bed time and is on a sleep schedule (I believe that he needs his rest. At least 10-12 hours a night which is already hard enough for him to get since we don’t get back from daycare until at least 7pm. That’s the time for him to grow.) because he has to get up early and I need enough sleep so that I can drive him to daycare safely. I work banking hours and am the one taking him to daycare and back. I’m a working mom who solely cares for him Monday-Friday, ok? Nap time at day care does not count towards his sleep time…. they’re naps. Cat naps at best. He isn’t going to be up until 11 or 12 am, sorry. Even if it’s the weekend. I’m building healthy habits for him for the future.
- Yes, he needs independent play time. I do not want him held 24/7. I want him to be able to play on his own when he’s older and not have to be coddled all the time. Believe me when I say that I wish I could hold him the whole time I’m with him but I adhere to his sleep schedule. I barely get any of his ‘awake’ time just bonding with him. It’s more like getting him ready for bed.
- No, I am not ‘hogging’ my son. Instead, I am trying to not depend on others to help me because I won’t always have that help. I need to be able to care for him. I am his mama after all. I do deeply thank anyone who does give me a hand here and there but again, there will come a day when we live together on our own. When I’ll have nobody to lend a helping hand and that’s why I need to be independent with him now!
- Yes, when he’s old enough he will be eating homemade pureed veggies and fruits. He won’t be chomping down on candy or chugging down pop in his early years… even his juice will be cut with water. I don’t want him to have the dental/health problems that I do. When he’s my age he’ll appreciate it. Health/dental insurance is EXPENSIVE! Why not proactively prevent deterioration?
- That bottle/paci? Yeah, as soon as I can he’ll be off them. Refer to #4 for explanation.
- No, I’m not a 100% all natural/green mama. I wish I could be but at the moment I can’t be financially. I do use what I can afford right now though and am going to test out cloth diapers for at least part-time use (slowlyyyy building up my stash).
- This list could go on and on and on….. and I’m sure you all have some of your own to add.
If any of the above offends anyone I come in contact with, I’m sorry. Those are just some of the things that are currently working for me and Linc-Monster. I know as he grows things may change. I may have to tweak my choices with his personality and likings but for now what I’m doing is working and I believe whole heartily that Lincoln is happy with my choices. He’s a happy healthy baby boy. He’s so alert/aware, smiling his gummy smile non-stop (sure, his mean mug comes back every now and then). I’m quite lucky. I know I am and I thank Buddha/God/whomever for my baby love.
This isn’t directed to any one person. As a parent we are all dealing with family/coworkers/strangers who always want to put their two cents in or pass judgement.
I’m sure all of you have dealt with people questioning your choices/over-suggesting. Let me know one thing you do that people always have something to say about! I’d like to hear… why not vent to me a little?